I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize