just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
