In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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