they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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