This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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