Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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