can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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