it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
