My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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