Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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