I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
