Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize