my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize