There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
