I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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