Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sydisvicious hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji

Fav 9 1505 2562
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.

Fav 32 7730 1123
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...

Fav 14 1439 3478
share tweet
(812): View more from Indiana

They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

Fav 8 4931 1333
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton

Fav 2 3657 1229
share tweet
(510): View more from California

listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.

Fav 22 3799 1344
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(334): View more from Alabama

Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"

Fav 12 2961 1199
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.

Fav 1 488 732
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.

Fav 0 13 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT