I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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