Whatcha textin bout Willis?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
