that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he thought i was a dude.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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