girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
