I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
