Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hippo gnu deer
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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