she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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