I cannot find my penis.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
