also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
