i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize