idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
