Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
