she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
