on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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