I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
