Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
