i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
