First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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