Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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