he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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