They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
