Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You ate ashes out of my bong
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
