White coat. Heels.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
