i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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