his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize