Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
