the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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