I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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