Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
