i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
