it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
