Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
