ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
