He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
