If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
