do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
40s are totally the cure
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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