The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
