i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
