I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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