Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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