What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
