at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it was like eating out sand paper
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
