i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
