When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
