We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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