Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is wine microwaveable?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
