ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
