haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
