honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
