you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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