Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
