Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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