walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
