He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
