I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
