There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
