"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
