The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
