I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
