There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
