I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize